WALT choose words that describe a moment (in an exciting way) for the reader
YOUR SIGNS OF SUCCESS
- begins in the action
- present tense (I am, not I was)
- short, sharp sentences
- strong verbs
- language features (simile, alliteration, onomatopoeia, metaphor)
- show personality (sounds like you, humour, feelings, exaggeration
“Finally we’re at camp”I said when I got out of the van(in the van I was with Olivia, Hannah, Ollie, Zeb, Elijah and Zach.). After I got my stuff in my dorm, we went to a pond that was surrounded with rocks but we had to go too Michael Noonan’s grave, his horse’s grave and a baby's grave that was nine months old! (I felt like fainting but I dare not to.) When we finally got to the pond (the lake was called ‘Lake Kiriopukae’ but no one told me) I look to my left and see a round metal thing and slowly scouted to it.
It was big...
It was metal...
then I suddenly knew what it was...a boat. So I went back and joined room 16 rock hopping.After a while the rocks were more further from each other so then I started saying “Juump Juump Juuump JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMP!” After that we started rock climbing.When I got to the first climbing rock, Mr M called out we’re moving on but I still went up (it means that I was last.) After a few rocks there was a house cave that was blocked by sticks that look like spears but that didn't stop me since the sides were left open so I went in to see nothing and then I went onto the roof to get a photo.<----Heres the photo
(½ of one side was rock hopping and the other ½ is rock climbing.)
I was about to finish the whole lake until I got distracted with a game of who gets to the top first and i did it in two steps but Ollie annoyingly said “WELL I DID IT IN ONE STEP!”(why does he boast about everything?) So I just walked away just in time for some cookies and a ¼ of an apple and then we went back. On the way back Mr M started running so I ran after him like the others. After a while we found a house and we went inside to sit down and get a photo again.
Then we carry on to the place where we have a view of lake waikaremoana.
(we get another photo)
We go back to Camp Kaitawa and we’re back in our cabins. HOORAY!
Can’t wait for tomorrow. :-)